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Tasmania
History of Tasmania For millenia the aboriginal folk of Tasmania were ravaged by a beast second only to the bear as mans worst enemy, a marsupial tiger who's bite results in the growth of an additional head. This battle continued until the introduction of a new even deadlier animal to the aboriginal people, the Anglo-Homo-Sapien. These gun yielding convicts joined forces with the Tasmania Tigers to win the war against the native population. Then, after a short while, the band of convicts were thirsty for more blood. They then waged war on the tigers, claiming a decisive and final victory in 1936. Tasmania Today Today Tasmania consists of two sub-species of human, the Homo Boganalis and the Homo Greeniealis. The Homo Boganalis are the decendents of convicts who have been inbreeding since the British invasion. The Homo Greeniealis is a more pacified breed that exhibit hippy tendencies. Tasmania Climate & Geography Tasmania is a miserable place in more ways than one (including weather) Tasmanian Cities The two main cities of Tasmania are Launceston and Hobart. Like ancient Greece with its intense rivalry between Athens and Sparta so exists the intensity between Hobart and Launceston. Unlike Sparta, however, Launceston is not by any means awesome, or has Hobart show or displayed any culture. Tasmania Landmarks Statue of their leader, Satan. Tasmania Culture They are not that far into technology to even know what 'culture' is. Famous People From Tasmania *Boonie: World famous for downing 58 beers on a plane ride to England to play a game of cricket *Punter: The best batsman since Bradman *Crown Princess Mary of Denmark: The only alumni of Taroona High school not to end up in prison A Typical Day in Tasmania #Wake up #Touch daughters #Make butter in the shed #Take a bottle of pills #Cry in the corner about how the proper states of Australia are too far away to swim to #Innapproptiatly touch some cows #Eat some chili #Hook up with Ma #Go to bed Laws Unique To Tasmania *Boil socks in neighbours blood twice a month *touch at least 39 kids a day *marry your cousin so your kids can have four heads, thus giving them a HEAD start to life!!!! *no vaccinations, spread small pox *Must marry cousin with the most fingers *Throw crawfish at neighbours Tasmanian Devil A small (bulldog size) animal with a unequaled jaw strength, A pit-bull dog has a Jaw strength of around 660ft/lbs, A Tassie Devil broke the machine. It's speed and eating ability is why Australia has no ground-dwelling bears, or for a matter of fact anything that can't jump, outrun or dig it's way out of reach of the devil's ravenous hunger. The only two species of bears left in Australia are both tree dwellers and both have different modes of movement to avoid being detected by Devils, the Koala moves with stealth down a tree and across the ground while the Drop-bear, drops, crushes it victim then drags the corpse back up the tree with incredible speed. The Devils fondness (ravenous hunger) for Bear meat has drawn the ire of bear-loving evil scientists who have gene-built a cancer to eliminate them, if this animal disappears from the earth, then the bears will have won a major victory. It may be a unstoppable stomach with jaws that can chew bear bone, after all it is bear predator, God don't make it cuddly, He made it to cause bears to shit themselves in the woods at the sound of the Tassie Devil's ravenous, blood curling, hunting scream. (it's feeding scream is the last dying gasp of whatever it caught)